What I’ve Been Struggling with Lately | Life Update:
I wanted to come here and share a little background with you about what’s been going on with me this past year ( a little life update if you will)… and things that I’ve been struggling with lately. I think it’s so important to be open and honest with ya’ll because this is all about community. Some may beg to differ, but that’s what feels right to me.
A little history. . .
Last fall I decided to take the blog full time. At the same time I had also planned to remain part time working within the marketing field with an agency here in the Tri-Cities. The blog would take my main focus… and I would have the part time role to keep me socialized… and be a second source of income.
I didn’t do a post about going full time because to be honest I felt weird about it… I don’t mean any offense to those who do a “yay I went full time” post, I just didn’t feel the need to boast it around personally.
I started matching income last year and to be honest it felt right to take the plunge and invest in myself and my business. It was a great choice in the long run, but oh my gosh I struggled August of last year to March of this year with my emotions around it all.
The agency I was going to work for did some restructuring and they were not able to meet my pay requirements. I was really upset about this for months… but it all worked out in the long run. I started doing more freelance social media and helping a few hours a week at a local salon and it was really good for me.
All during this time though I was battling more things on my own. Being alone so many hours a week was really causing me to sink into a depression and my anxiety has never been worse in my life. I really don’t know if I’ve ever felt more sad and lonely.
And there’s more. . .
I have been battling some health issues for a while. Feeling sluggish, the worst upset stomach and digestion issues that wrecked havoc on my mornings, anxiety that crippled me and made it hard for me to go out and do anything… especially on my own, the most painful and irregular periods I’ve ever had, and the struggle that so many women know in trying to have a baby.
I started back into a new OBGYN here locally and started digging for answers. Test after test, medication after medication… I was so exhausted I can’t even tell you.
After several months of no answers I was referred to an internal med doctor. I have to say this has been the most beneficial for me because I do truly think my doctor has my best interest in mind and wants to find answers for me. We’ve tried several medications, thrown in an antidepressant to battle my mood + anxiety issues, and a supplement to try to bring up my vitamin d because it is incredibly low.
This past week I had another appointment. I hopped on the scale and ya’ll in less than two months it showed a gain of almost 20 pounds… she told me to immediately stop one of my medications because it was causing this weight gain… and put me on another and something to help with the stomach issues I’ve been having. I left that appointment in tears. I’ve never felt worse. I decided in that moment I had had enough and I was taking charge of my health.
I don’t really think I need to give a whole run-down of my health history here, but I know a lot of people are going through the same thing. It sucks not knowing what is going on with your body. Feeling bad everyday makes it hard to feel motivated… but I’m working on it and that’s what matters.
There are so many reasons for this change… the battle to have a baby, the need for body confidence, the desire to simply just feel good… it’s all a driving force for me right now.
I called my sweet friend Nicholle and she helped me map out my Macros for the next month. I’ve honestly never tracked my food, had a workout plan, or really done anything “weight loss” wise in a healthy way. With my ED history (read more on that here), I have to be careful. That’s why I reached out to Nicholle because she gets it… she’s walked in my shoes and DANG she looks good and more importantly she FEELS GOOD! That’s my biggest thing… not the number. I want to learn how to switch my lifestyle and fuel my body with what it needs. I’m tired of feeling like crap everyday ya’ll! I’m sure you get that!
So I wanted to share this for you guys to know where I am right now… and give you some insight on what I’ve been dealing with. I’m going to share updates with you guys. Progress photos… all of it! So stay tuned!
If you’re struggling with something like this right now know you aren’t alone! You can do this girl! We got this!
Since I know someone will ask, these photos were taken in Knoxville at Ijam’s Nature Center. This field has a piece of my heart and I go here every single year to take pictures. The first two weeks of July are the sweet spot and best time to go if you live close.